


Lost Things

by Leloqier



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura's death causes Lance's death, Lance is dying, Langst, M/M, Post Season 8, Post-Canon, no happy ending, not suicide tho, shance, shangst, vauge mentions of Lance's family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 04:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18189935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leloqier/pseuds/Leloqier
Summary: Based on Lances-wormhole's prompt on Tumblr:"Because Allura is 'dead', do you think that the magic that Allura used on Lance to bring him back to life has weakened? Like maybe every so often Lance will have these little moments of physical pain. Perhaps he manages to hide it from everyone but then someone like Shiro (who has also died) or whoever notices after trying to surprise Lance with a visit. Lance would just be leaning against his garden cart in his greenhouse, in obvious pain, struggling to even stand on his feet as he gripped onto his heart...?"





	Lost Things

**Author's Note:**

> Go check out [Lances-Wormhole's](https://lances-wormhole.tumblr.com/) blog!!

Lance didn’t know why this was happening at first. He didn’t even think much of it, actually. Just sun sickness or even dehydration from working all day at the farm. Tending to animals and crops really took a toll on someone.

When it got really bad he decided to go see a doctor. Astonished at the results, they told him to go to the hospital. Lance was alarmed but didn’t tell anyone. He went to the hospital the next day, same story, worse pains.

They gave him a few antibiotics. They did nothing. And still, no one knew. It was starting to get concerning, but he did all he could. The pains and headaches kept on coming, Lance beginning to develop shortness of breath. His chest ached when he worked too hard, or even if he didn’t.

Sometime later, he was laying out in the fields of juniberries when it happened again. His mind ached and twisted, feeling as though he was getting shot with a thousand volts of electricity.

A thousand volts of electricity....

Then he saw her - a beautiful woman slowly making her way to him through that beautiful field of blinding pink. Unclear to her identity due to blurry vision, Lance called out weakly to her. That’s when everything shifted into focus.

Allura. It was Allura, and she was crying. Crying over some unimaginable thing as she touched Lance’s cheeks. He realized he was crying too, though he wasn’t sure why. The pain had dulled though, so dull he thought he was dead. That’s when he realized why this was all happening. Tears seemed to flow even harder.

And when Allura started to vanish again they came tenfold. He fell on his knees, only to wake up in his bed coughing something vicious. He stared at his wall for a while after that. It made sense. The electricity like pain flowing through him. The unreadable health results.

He was dying all over again.

The revelation didn’t stop Lance from working his hardest every day. Every day he did his best that no one found out, and every day he felt like he was going to die right there in the middle of the fields of juniberries. Life was miserable. But, he couldn’t fathom even telling his mother. She didn’t deserve to lose her son again.

He couldn’t help but feel like it was all going to go away as long as he powered through it. If he just held on. If he just kept going. Everything was going to be okay.

That’s what ran through his mind that day in his greenhouse. He was tending to the plants in there, wheeling in a new batch of fertilizer when it struck again. It left him gasping, panting, crying. He could barely stand, holding onto his cart behind him. Everything was spinning, his mind, his thoughts, his surroundings, his guts. He felt like living hell. Like any moment his body was going to give out on him. Any moment he would die again. A soul-crushing sob left his lips, but he couldn’t hear it through the mantra playing in his head that told him he needed to hang on.

He’s been through worse than this, seen and felt worse than this. He had to hold on. For his family's sake, for his friend's sake, for Allura’s sake.

“Lance? Lance!?”

Strong hands gripped his face. He felt like he was going to scream, but then those warm calloused hands gripped his face. Except... one wasn’t. That’s what brought him back to reality. His hand slipped off the wood of the cart and he felt his body fall into the hardness that was Shiro’s chest.

Shiro. Shiro. “Shiro...” He whimpered, just leaning there, eyes shut tight because if he were to look, it would all come rushing back. He knew it, he felt it. But here, Shiro’s warmth encased him. He didn’t even have the strength to wonder why he was there, but he knew he was.

And it made him so so happy.

“Hang on, buddy. I’m here. It’s gonna be okay.”

Lance felt himself get lifted, but it didn’t register in his mind as Shiro carried him away. He was more focused on his soothing words and soft breaths, that got heavier the longer they moved.

Then Lance realized two things: Shiro was running, and based off the warm water that fell on his forehead that definitely wasn’t his own, Shiro was crying.

Lance was shifted quite violently as he registered the sound of a door opening and Shiro’s usually calm smooth voice cracking with desperation as he called out to his family. All the loud noise that emerged in response set off those pains again.

Almost in a ripple effect kind of way, he felt his head pounding in a headache first before all that pain just shot down his back, leaving him screaming writhing in Shiro’s iron grip. Shocked and scared gasps echoed around the room, but Lance couldn’t hear them. He couldn’t feel anything either. He just felt searing pain, his heart pounding out of his chest, and heard the blood pumped through his skull. It was deafening, and it was terrifying.

But then, everything went black.

All Lance’s life he tried to be the best he could be. Though he was a bit immature, he never meant to hurt anyone. He only wanted to help. That’s what led him to The Garrison. The stars just called to him, and he knew he could do a great act of service if he joined.

He never thought it would all just change like that, though. One moment he was training as hard as he could, and the next he was watching his hero and inspiration scream out cryptic warnings as people held him down and forced him to sleep.

It struck a new cord in Lance. One that he never thought would emerge. It made him angry, made him vengeful. Like if anything happened to the ones he loved, he would fight anyone that was in his way to set things right. Never would he have thought though, that the one hurting everyone was himself.

Now, he knew that wasn’t totally true. But as he laid in that hospital bed and gazed at his friend’s faces through tears and screaming, he knew that his final boss was his own self. His own selflessness led him to this moment when he took that shot for Allura.

It was her magic that brought him back, and her magic that was causing him to relive that pain slowly and repeatedly. It was his fault that Shiro had to hold him and quietly whisper meaningless soothing words into his ear as he cried himself to sleep at night. His fault that Pidge was reduced to tears every time he cried, his fault that Keith couldn’t even look him in the eye without punching something, his fault that Hunk wasn’t around, too busy trying to find a cure.

It was all his fault.

“What about cryopods!?”

“We don’t have those anymore! The castle was blown up and the lions left!”

Shouting voices felt like white noise at this point. It was all he could do to block them out. He knew nothing was going to change no matter how long they argued. The little strength he had left was used to stare a hole in the wall... the same hole that Keith punched in when he realized nothing could be done.

A small sob escaped him at the thought, surprising even himself along with the bickering duo in the corner. He recognized Shiro walking towards him and he flopped his head to watch him, dull eyes meeting Shiro’s red-rimmed ones. 

“Lance, everything is going to be okay.”

“Shiro...”

“Yeah, I’m right here.” Shiro sat on the edge of the bed, a hand stroking through Lance’s hair. It was his left, and it was trembling. Lance’s eyes slowly tracked around the room looking for the floating right arm, realizing in a daze that it was left on Keith’s shoulder from when they were arguing. It seemed like Keith was getting overwhelmed, his face streaked with tears, more pooling out.

The sight made Lance frown, but he couldn’t do much else. All his energy was drained, he could barely move, barely speak. He was told the most he spoke was when he was dreaming, and his words were all pleads. Pleads to live, pleads to stay. 

“I don’t...”

“What is it, Lance? Take your time.”

“I don’t wanna go-” Coughing, hacking, crying.

“Shh, shh, you’re not going anywhere. You’re gonna get better, and you’re gonna thrive. Just like you always have.”

“I don’t... deserve you.. guys.”

A tear rolled down Shiro’s cheek. “Shut your mouth.”

Lance blinked at him but didn’t say anything. He was too weak to speak. He was dying. He could feel it with every breath. He didn’t have time to argue.

“We don’t deserve you, Lance. We could never deserve someone as kind and thoughtful and selfless as you. We love you, Lance.” Shiro kissed his forehead, more tears spilling there, making a mess there, telling a story there. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Shiro broke. He crumbled. His right arm fell off Keith’s shoulder and onto the floor with a bang. Keith jumped, wiping tears away as he watched the scene unfold. He couldn’t bear to watch this happen. There had to be a way. He had to find it.

Then, it was only them left there. Only Shiro and Lance left in that white, sterilized, and stuffy room. Tears and sobs wracking through one of them, the other a shell of what he once was.

That vibrance ripped away leaving a sad and lonely boy who just wanted to live again. He was so happy, and now he’s just here. Getting cried on by his hero. His inspiration. His leader. His- his crush. His infatuation.

For the first time in what felt like years, Lance had the strength to cry again. Two tears at first, then an onslaught came rushing down. Each one wanting to win the race to the edge of his chin.

“Shi-ro.” He sobbed with the last of his breath. “I lo-ve you.”

Turns out that energy was the only thing keeping him here. Keeping him whole. The last bit of pain that struck, that ended everything, was the same feeling that he felt before it all went away- before Allura held him and brought him back again. 

Not physical, but a deep set emotional anguish. 

Then he was flatlined. 

Except this time there were no magical powers there to keep him alive.

No, just a broken man who had already lost so much, crying out how much he loved Lance too.


End file.
